I decided to email the repondent about the holiday schedule. I proposed that we just change the schedule to say that exchanges should occur on the tuesday after a monday holiday so the little men wouldn't have to do an exchange on the holiday. In addition, I sent her a paper stating such and asked her to print it and sign it prior to today.
Then the texting began...... I hate it when the texting occurs! She is like a sixteen year old when it comes to texting.
Anyhow, she said that she agreed to my proposal, but would not give me the signed paper until wed. So, I told her, " I am concerned that I will not get the paper from her agreeing. You have told me you would give me the one for thanksgiving, yet haven't. So if we are to make any changes it needs to be in writing and signed today and I can pick it up somewhere outside your house. Otherwise we can just continue with tomorrows normal exchange." - My concern was that she would tell me she would agree, keep the little men for an extra day and then never keep her end of the deal.
She responed with," I said I will have the paper signed for you on wed, and I will. It's up to you wether or not you want to believe me. This really should come down to whats best for the boys and not wether I can make it to a printer or not. Let me know what you decide."
Nice how she fails to recognize that she made an agreement with me months ago, told me several times she would give it to me, yet still hasn't.
So I responded," I agre, this is about what's best for our sons. I choose to make choices based on your actions. Please let me know if you are willing to give me the agreement today. I feel that all agreements should be handled prior to the event. I apologize for not sending you the proposal earlier."
You see it was just a few days ago that she emailed me saying that she wanted to drop off the boys at school on tuesday instead of exchanging them on monday. So I thought it through and felt it would be best to change it so that all monday holidays should occur without an exchange of the little men.
She responded," I can't get to a printer today. You chose to respond till this morning and now you expect me to rearrange my schedule to accomidate your need to have the paper signed ahead of time. It is your call on how you want to handle this. It;s not the boys fault that you chose to handle this until the last minute, nor is it their fault that I don't have access to a printer. Please make your decision based on what I have already said. I cannot do it any differently as far as the paper goes."
I respond," Why don't you just write down what I had written, no more- no less, sign it and have that ready for me. problem solved."
She responds," I do not want to take the time to write it up. You can trust that I will give you the paper on wed. or not. You need to let me know if you are comfortable with this."
I gave it a lot of thought, because I have been burned before. Part of me felt that if I set a boundary with her I need to stick with it. Otherwise she will continue on with this behavior. On the other hand, I felt that she did say she would do it in writing, and it would look bad for her if she failed to follow through yet again. So in the end I decided to reluctantly trust her.
Any thoughts on this exchange. How could I have done it better or what did I do alright. I realize I did wait until the last minute, but she didn't bring it up to me until tuesday of this week when I had the little men with me and worked. I needed to take a good look at the holiday schedule and see how it would all work out. I feel its important to not rush into an agreement with her that will be in writing.
