but have been told not to give in and have sex with her. Another reason for the coaching session-what to do in my sitch. Do I ML to her if she wants? Do I instigate? I am really lost
It is important that you understand the reason you were advised not to have sex with your W. Do you know why? You don't seem to understand b/c you want to know if it's okay as long as she "wants" to and then you ask if you should instigate it.
I think you have your mind on sex too much and not on the other things. You did handle the "good-night" very well last night. What would you have done if she had followed you to bed and iniated sex? You need to know in advance what to do and what to say whenever that happens. And....if you know you won't have the strength to turn her down, then for goodness sake use protection! (I can almost hear you thinking right now, "But that would make her furious if I did that.")
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
