Friendships? Isn't she the one taking naked pictures fofr their benefit? Or am I thinking of a different thread?
Personally, I do not know how in the world I would have enough control of myself to not grab that GD phone out from underneath her pillow and smash it with a hammer.
Allegedly, the pics were for me, and I don't have any evidence that she sent them anywhere.
I have been trying to leave the phone and laptop alone up to now, since her complaints were that she felf trapped and isolated, and because we have still been sleeping together in the same room. If she moves into D4's bedroom, though, all bets are off.
I would have her stuff in the hallway, explain to her, "that I have decided that the relationships you are having with these other men are inappropriate and I will not continue to accept it. When you are willing to break all ties to the other men you are having emotional affairs with and are again willing to work on our marriage, we can talk about what needs to be done."
This is going to continue until these EA's turn into PA's. And you are not seriously believing that those pictures are for you, you are the one that she claims to be suffocating her? Without some firm boundries, this situation is going to get a lot worse.
We need more "no more" and less "eeyore" out of you. Lose the fear, follow the wonderful direction that you have been getting and you can get your M back on track, Stay the course and I guarantee she will be out the door when she finds a guy that is willing to step up, sweep her off of her feet from you and tell her that he will take care of her. She is waiting for that, and when that offer comes she is out of there!
So time to step up and stop enabling her now. Look at the advice given before.
You have to stop talking. Start acting. Act like a man , father , husband here. If your paying for that phone , cut it off. Limit her Internet. Protect the family. Make sure your boundaries are very clear. And if needed. Enforce them.
For now you have had the talk. She is going to push you. And if you give in. Well now you are saying. I have no spin and I agree with what your doing. See how I enable it.
You need to kill these EA's Doing so will also help you gain some respect in yourself and in your wifes eyes.
Anger will be coming. But you should weigh the options. A wife yelling at you vs. a wife who has left and is having sex with another man physically instead of just on the Internet.
You have offered choices. Now uphold your choices.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
While I would do backflips to find out the pics and webcam were for me, I am enough of a realist to think they were probably for OM.
I am working on the "No More" part. As you may have seen, I put up with a lot for the last few months, thinking that as long as we were together, things would eventually get better.
When there is calm between us, we actually get along pretty well.
I guess I am still trying to dig in my heels and keep us from drifting further apart, and hold on to the calm as long as it lasts.
I can't afford to back down now, but I still feel like I am reacting instead of taking action.
"probably" for the other man? Reread Cutter's advice to you, the calm is not a good thing when she is actively involved with mutltiple affairs. Reread what I just wrote, your wife is involved with multiple affairs. Cutter really nailed it by telling you to PROTECT YOUR FAMILY. These predators are coming after the well being of your children, what are you going to do about it.
After cringing reading the FIRST half of your long post, I was really pleased to see you stand up for yourself in the SECOND half. You said all of the right things.
As Cutter and dBurt have said above, however, now it comes down to DOING, instead of just SAYING.
When your ACTIONS plainly speak "I am done, and will not be anyone's second choice," as clearly as your WORDS did, you will have turned the corner toward getting your self-respect -- and quite possibly your wife -- back.
your wife is probably the type who can dish it out But can't take it. IF YOU had a female texting friend to confide your marital problems to and spend late nights talking to, all those pretty ballons that float around fantasy land would 'pop' when she realizes what it feels like to be abandoned. She dont know what it feels like.
I have mentioned the same things in our conversations.
I tried to use that as an example to show how bad her behavior sounded, but she said she wouldn't have a problem with it. I would like to call shenanigans, but I don't want to have my own revenge EA just to prove a point and show her how it feels.
Maybe we need a DB chatbot to pretend to have conversations with, so we can type and text like crazy, but still be telling the truth when we say nothing is going on. (Sorry, that's the inner Geek in me coming out...)
I think one thing that turned my sitch around was when I started working out with a very hot little trainer, you would be surprised how women respond when they think they may be loosing something>
