How do I find myself.......and Live for ME??

[ddstartingover]

Thank you - yes, I am/have been busy as the caretaker---3 kids (11,13,16), 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 turtles, and 2 lizards. I do it all----I tried to instigate a chore list, but it became more work reminding the kids to do their chores than do them myself....so another fault! I get up at 5---and now exercise(rather than lay in bed and watch tv) before I get lunches made and ready for work. I usually do a load of laundry in the morning, feed the inside dog, remind D13 that we need to leave 20 times, make sure all electrical things are turned off, and some how get to work/school on time. When I get home I do the dishes, more laundry, feed all of the other animals, the kids and I when they are with me, help with homework or other projects.....more dishes....more laundry and then by 9 I am exhausted and ready for bed! Once a week, it's gathering trash and walking it down to the end of my (long) driveway, cleaning out litter boxes (which should be more often, but it's in the garage so I leave it....)....and add any additional home projects (like the flood) when they arise............

I did discover reading again after the bomb. I took a jewelery and stained glass class, but since going back to work full-time in September/October, I find that I have zero free time----and my house always looks like a pit! AND I'm always tired.

I have some girlfriends over for "girls night" very infrequently----because of everyone's scheduling. I pick a night that H has the kids and I make lots of snacks and we share a bottle (or 2 of wine). It is a good time, but they all go home to their husbands, and I remind them of how lucky they are.

My mother loves to iron.....so that is definitely an idea, but I can't even manage to visit her as often as I used to, or should (she lives 30 minutes north of me).

As I write this, I'm thinking I NEED to get my kids more involved......it's extra hard since they spend 2-4 nights a week at dad's, they are VERY busy, and have very little down time of their own. I want them to "just be home."

Any creative ways to get my kids involved??? I've found pleading with them and telling them how hard this all is for me and that I NEED their help DOES not work (one very weak moment......not a regular thing).