Retrouvaille means change

[SueS]

Trent-

I would have to say that I think it was a bit of a magical transformation for you two. You said that your wife moved away from it being the very last chance. That's huge, especially if she was in the place or state of mind that I was in when we went.

We did have what seemed to be a big transformation on our weekend but I am in no way saying that life is perfect now. We still have miles to go but as you said, we're in a better place and have a better way to deal with it all.

It's interesting to me to see where we stand on certain issues and how different our feelings can really be about them. We had opposing views and feelings on certain things but then when we had to write about a shared experience to show our feelings, we often would write about the same experience. One that caught us both off guard was how we'd both written about how my Grandmother's death affected us and how we'd come together to comfort each other at that time. She was an absolutely incredible woman who touched everyone she met. Yes, I knew her that way but I had no idea she'd had that affect on my H or meant that much to him.

I feel the same about the presenting couples as you do. They are incredible people. I've thought about how much it helped us. My H and I both cried during the weekend when certain subjects were talked about in the presenters situations. I think listening to how one of the wives was affected by her H's affair really hit home to my H. He finally saw that it wasn't just me falling apart at time. That was how the A really, truly affected me.

I encourage you to go to the post sessions. There have been two presenting couples from our weekend & post sessions that have said that the weekend had little affect on them.....BUT, the post sessions really did it for them. My biggest "AH HA" from the weekend was when they said that we all have our own timelines for forgiveness. Some have been cut deeper than others. And, that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting.

A wonderful lady on this board talked about Retro 2-3 years ago. I researched it because of her. I'm glad I went. I wish we would have gone earlier or known of it earlier. However, I think we both had to be in the right place, time & mindset for it to be right for us. Thankfully it was all of those.

NOCODE!!! Thanks for the post. I'm hoping to have time to get back here more often. Work & life have been busy, busy, busy. And, my FIL had been sick too.

Saffie....got your message. Thanks sweetie!

Take Care- Sue