Think my wife is having an MLC, looking for help

[TrentC]

I would not push her to do the homework. Remember, it was a little over a week ago that you found that she lied where she was going and that she flew to Colorado to be with OM. And I think she deliberately lied about her health conditions to get you to give up the M easier. Retro was a start, but you both need time.

I agree with the first part but not the second. I think she was genuinely confused and surprised about the incorrect diagnosis; the anger and pain she was displaying when she told me that she couldn't have kids and that she blamed our lack of motivation to look into it was too great. But, I have been wrong before...

During the coming months, you need to work on yourself. Become the better man. I believe you are aware of your codependence and are seeing a C for that. I really recommend you check out those books (Nuts, Inner Lives of Women) that I mentioned.

I have read For Men Only and picked up copies of Codependant No More and Codependant's Guide to the Twelve Steps. I haven't been able to find a copy of Hold Onto Your N.U.T.S., but I might head into Powell's today; I have the day off.

I have an appointment with my IC on Thursday to discuss codependancy. When we discussed my codependancy this weekend, I told her that she is not responsible for taking care of me emotionally, and that I cannot do the same for her. I very gently suggested that my wife read Codependant No More and see if she sees her behavior in those pages the way I did mine.

Are you still looking around for another job near where you live?

Yes. I need to start a new round of looking for openings.

I am also going to continue looking after myself physically. I want to talk to my physician about low sex drive; there have been several articles about low testosterone levels that make me wonder if there is a physiological component that I have overlooked.