Your life sounds like mine by being engulfed in the caring role, which at the time I enjoyed. Like you I have 4 children, animals and work full time! What a nightmare but like you I treasure it.
I'm not sure how old your children are. I am lucky that mine are all teenagers now.
One thing I have done is def make time for me. If that means the house isn't as tidy as it was so be it. My ironing is now done by my mother! My eldest babysits occasionally for me to go out to visit frineds or the theatre etc in an evening.
I have also started wearing clothes that I wouldn't normally wear so that makes me feel special and good because before I was too busy to try new ideas. I even opt into things with friends I would never have done.
From a home perspective I try to let the children know I want 10 minutes for a bath etc and make it special with bubbles etc and they are pretty good and leave me alone.
Friends also come over to mine and we have a take away and a bottle of wine. This way I don't need to get a babysitter (incase older D wants to go out).
I have also on occasions scheduled in lunch out of the office with friends. This can be difficult but if I book the slot out early enough no one touches it for meetings etc. When everyone is heading to their bedrooms I have time to read. I love reading and hadn't done it for a number of years and I have just refound the pleasure.
I am sure you already do some of these things. I hope you find one or two that will help.
