So, after our talk last week, Mrs. Eeyore was okay for a few days. She did a little more housework, hung out with the family a little bit, and we went shopping as a family. She left her phone laying around a few times (locked, of course), and if she talked to OM1/2/3, she didn't do it around me.
Valentine's Day came and went about as expected. I gave her a card and a box of candy, along with tickets for a concert she asked for. She didn't give me anything, which was disappointing, but not unexpected.
At 5:00 this morning, I woke up when her cell phone buzzed. She looked at it, then put it back under her pillow. I asked her who it was, and she didn't answer. I asked her again, and she sighed and said, "Oh, that's right, I forgot, you don't trust me." I responded with a very undignified FU. She was taken aback, then said that if I must know, it was OM, who sent her a message telling her he was having troubles at home and wanted to tell her about them.
I told her he and her other male friends needed to deal with their own issues, and leave us out of it. My W then said again that that they were all "just good friends" and that I would never trust her. I told her I was trying to trust her, and that I wanted to trust her, but she had done nothing to rebuild that trust. I told her that as long as she kept her computer and phone locked, and the details of her friendships hidden from me, it seemed like something was going on. She said that I would never trust her and that I was trying to control every aspect of her life, then she left the room.
I waited a few minutes, then went looking for her. I found her in D4's bedroom. I asked her to come back to bed, and she said no, she was done. She said she was done feeling trapped and not having the freedom to be herself, and said she thought we should seperate. I agreed with her, and told her I would help her pack her things and find a place to live. She looked stunned, then said she wasn't going to leave. I told her I had no intentions of leaving our family home or bedroom, and if she wanted to separate, I would help her move her things into D4's room. I then went back to bed.
The noise woke D4 up, and she stayed in my room for a few minutes, then went down the hall to find my W. A few minutes went by, then my wife and D4 came back in and sat down on the couch.
My W said she was tired of feeling like she was living under a microscope and couldn't take it any more. She said again that she was done. I told her I was sorry she felt that way, but that it might be for the best since I deserved better. I told her I didn't want to be married to someone who didn't want to be with me, and wasn't willing to be anyone's second choice.
She asked why I couldn't just accept OM1/2/3 as her friends, and no different than her girlfriends and family. I said it was a big difference, because there was no reason why a man should need to be friends with a married woman he doesn't work with, when he isn't friend with her husband. I said they stopped being "just friends" when she started keeping her conversations with them a secret, and when she started telling them details about our M. I said I thought these men were predators, who took advantage of her when she was depressed and lonely, and that when she told them about problems with us, it threw up a flag that she might be available for something more. I said all three of these men have the same thing in common, that they have problems they can't handle by themselves, and that she is the only one that understands them. I told her that as a guy, I was calling BS, because I had done the same thing in the past before we were married. I told her that if a man was interested in a woman, and she gave him signals that her R was in trouble, the guy would put on the full court press under the guise of "asking for help with his personal life" until he could move the R forward.
She said it wasn't like that with them, and that I just didn't trust her. I reassured her that I was trying to trust her, but I didn't trust them, and didn't have any reason to. I told her I wasn't going to be able to get to a point where I felt safe and secure in our M as long as these men were persuing her.
At that point, I had to get ready for work. I took a shower, then we got the boys ready for school. When we left, I said goodbye to my D4 and that I loved her; I didn't say anything to my W.
