Running out of time.

[MHL]

I'm going to put a call into her older sister over the weekend just to say hi. My W's immediate family is like family to me. I've been a bit disappoint in the fact that I haven't heard from any of them since the [censored] hit the fan. Save for one call from the older sister, but that wasn't entirely unsolicited. Not sure what to make of it.

CLV,
Don't know if you have contacted her family yet, but I would recomend that you don't. I did and it was a big mistake and push her further away. Even if they agree with you, you do not want them pleading your case. If they call you fine, keep it short sweet, everything is fine. Trust me here. For that matter try to resist the urge to talk to common friends about her also, you do not want anyone going to her that did not know about the sitch before hand and talking to her about it, again will piss her off and push her away and will not help. I made this mistake multiple times, it is hard not to tell people about it b/c you feel better afterwards but it does not help it hurts the sitch.

I honestly don't really know what is going on in my wife head, particularly now that she has moved out. She radically distanced herself from me after she filed. I haven't put a single call into her since she moved out over two weeks ago and she hasn't called me except to discuss children and moving issues. There has been virtually zero casual conversation.

It seems to me that in most of the sitches I keep up with here, people have much more communication between eachother than in mine. Albeit not necessarily postive communication. I've been on the NC plan for a long time and she seems to be following the same plan.

Her head is a scrambled mess right now, I know it is hard not to think about what is going on in there but try not to. Even if you had a window into her mind and could see what she was thinking, you still would not understand it.

As far as the communication thing goes, give it some more time as hard as that may be also. Let things settle down. My wife and I had zero causual communication up until 2 weeks ago and prior to that it was 3-4 months of kids only, neccessary conversation. And even now, she has only initiated contact twice in the last 2 weeks.

Do not worry about dating, when the time is right and if it is right at the time you will know. To worry about it is just something else you do not need on your plate. It is hard to think that she is out there having all this "fun", it is not all fun and games right now for her, it will not take long, maybe a couple of more weeks and the party life will start to lose its flavor and at some point may even be something she does not care for.