Thanks EB- I told my parents about the video and their reply was "what's wrong w/ you- why do you punish yourself?!" Even when I put it in the DVD player I was asking myself the same question. Maybe I just wanted to see W when she was in love- to see the person that I knew again.
The goal you mention is indeed my goal. I think my problem is how debilitated I feel w/o my spouse- I know this is untrue, but the lonliness and her abscense even as a friend is something that leaves a huge void in my life.
