He said he is done!!

[lostnotgone]

I have written the below email to my H - is this a mistake to send or call him and tell him?

(H),

First I want to say that I want you to be happy. I am working on being happy - I want our children to be happy.

I do not want to send this - (I have an email ready to send to OW) but I will if I have to. I woke up this morning with a bad feeling. Call it woman's intuition call it a gut feeling. I know that the relationship with (OW name) is not over. You need to know that I meant what I said about boundaries with the children. I will not have them around her - I will not have you around the children at the same time that you are texting or calling her. She is poison. You said that she has her own issues - let her work through her issues WITH OUT you. She needs to be a woman and take responsibilies for her actions in her marriage.

You are going to church and I am so proud of you for this - it feels really good. How do you go to church and then lie to me - lie to your mother that this is over between the 2 of you.

How do we become friends if there is no trust - the trust needs to be repaired. The trust can not be repaired if you continue to lie to me about this being over.

The affair has been exposed I do not know why you continue to lie about it - does not make any sense. It is only making these worse. If I am wrong about this I am sorry - but for so LONG I ingnored my gut feelings - if I had said something back in August when I knew but did not want to accept that something was going on. How many times did I mention the amount of time on the phone - the number of text messages - the countless times I said "boy you are popular" .

I should have said/done something then. I didn't - I can not go back to the what if's - but I can tell you that I will no longer accept being 2nd.

I am trying to do 180's and one of them is not holding things in - is this a bad 180?