What I still can't wrap my head around in all of this is that he replaced me with ow in only 2 weeks, 2 days. Most people who know are incredulous and believe he had to have been carrying on with her longer than that. There is absolutely nothing to indicate that he was even talking to her longer than that. The funeral home viewing for her father 2 weeks previous was the first indication that I had that anything was going on when I think back on it. During those 2 weeks he was being vague as to his whereabouts at times and he smelled like cigarette smoke when he came on on the weekends between. OW smokes like a fiend from what I gather. It does seem unbelievable that their relationship is based on the fact that they dated when they were 16 and that was forty years ago.
I have found out and not by my own snooping that ow must have mental issues of her own due to the abuse she endured as a child and teenager by her father. She is one of 5 children. Her brother was one of H's best friends as teenagers and then H started dating her.
When H and I, were first dating 29 years ago, her brother was in a car accident and was killed. I do remember back then that there was talk of it being suicide. I have found out recently that it was and due to the abuse by their father that her brother killed himself. Ow told her mother what their father was doing to them and her mother told her to shut up and never to talk about it again. What boggles my mind about it all is that ow remained close to her father up until his death. I do not know if H is aware of this information or not, but with ow's probable mental issues and H's, this sitch is so entangled that I can't see it ever being straightened around. They are two broken individuals clinging to each other. Obviously, I can never approach H with what I know.
Incidentally, ow's brother's funeral must have been what H was referring to when he told me on the day he was moving in with her, that they almost got back together while H and I were dating. I asked him why they didn't and he told me that we all make mistakes. I guess that H believes his marriage to me and our kids are mistakes. I sometimes wonder if Standing for such an impossible sitch means that I have my own mental issues? I don't think so. I just believe that you don't love someone for twenty nine years and build a life with them and you flip a switch and it's over. I guess H believes that it is through his rewritten history. How do things get so screwed up???
Sometimes the hopelessness of this sitch overwhelms me.
