How (and who) to expose if OP is not married

[4luv]

I realize that sunday might have been my WORST DBing day ever!!! why did i have to speak my peace on what he said the previous night???? arghhh!!! i think what hit me is that the night he was talking he said that he regrets how bad he has talked to me the past year and that he did ALOT to me and said things to me that he couldn't believe i put up with. husband continued to say that he was waiting for me to speak up or to leave him because he knew that is what he deserved because if i was talking to hiim that way and doing the things that he was doing he wouldn've put up with it. then he said that he knows that when we were dating i would have NEVER stood for the things he has said or did to me and he was waiting, almost wanting that person to come out of me and stand up to him but i never did. that really hit home to me because i did let a lot slide due to trying to save my marriage but i guess my boundaries changed. while dating my boundary was do this or disrespect me in any way and i am out of here. but after i forgave husband for cheating and gettin OW pregnant and then we got married i think he almost figured that i was bluffing and that he got away with no consequences. therefore husband continued to push the envelope during our marriage and i continued to let him walk over me, disrespect me. my stand should have been i am leaving at the first sign of cheating, disrespect but i was scared. scared to leave and of my marriage failing.

all of that to say that i felt i needed to start calling bull on my husband from now on. but now i realize that it just gives hiim further ammunition to make the decisions and justify what he is doing.