It's so hard because I know I have to detach. But I end up letting my impulses/emotions take over. I'm usually a very anxious person, so I think that is why I have such a hard time controlling my impulses to engage him.
When he tells me he is done, and wants out and that we'll never get past this. I believe every word he says, and become devastated and desperate.
I totally understand this. I so often feel devastated and desperate too . We need to detach for ourselves, our own well-being. My IC says that self care for me right now is not allowing my own thoughts hurt and undermine me. I'm guessing that for every time your H says something hurtful to you, you replay it a hundred times in your head...and you end up hurting yourself more than he does. This is a journey about our R with ourselves, esp. because our R with our Hs is temporarily or permanently over.
You're putting a lot of energy into your sitch, and you need to shift that energy for doing a 180...for yourself. If you are an anxious person, all the more reason to work on being calm. Take a yoga or meditation class if possible. Make it your mission to buy a little more peace for yourself each day.
Take care mb. Others can support us, but we are the only ones who can choose a new self-loving path for ourselves.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
. We need to detach for ourselves, our own well-being. My IC says that self care for me right now is not allowing my own thoughts hurt and undermine me. I'm guessing that for every time your H says something hurtful to you, you replay it a hundred times in your head...and you end up hurting yourself more than he does. This is a journey about our R with ourselves, esp. because our R with our Hs is temporarily or permanently over.
