If you used this name, I think I found you. Check and let me know.
I want to say that NC, while many really find it to be helpful, and there are times when it is, personally, it did not work well for me. Because there were times that we had to be in contact, kids and finances, as well as passing in the hall. I removed him from my cell phone so that if I had the urge to contact him I would actually have to think about dialing the number. I only replied if he spoke to me in the house. For a long time. But when I did, I did act as if. Mostly because I was stubborn and didn’t want him thinking he upset me.
You have to do this the way that you feel works for you. With the exception of R talks, and even those are going to happen once in a while and eventually will have to happen. There is no one perfect way to DB. Much of it depends on where WE are in our journey.
In the beginning, we all spin, and do all of the “wrong” things. Then we try different things, and we see what works and what doesn’t. But the key is not so much what works for him, but what works for you. IF you can handle speaking with him as a friend or an acquaintance every single day for hours, then do it. If you can’t, then don’t.
Today, he may be willing to be your friend and tomorrow your smile could make a raving lunatic appear. Things change daily with them. And they will for a while. So you have to decide this for you and no one else can tell you what to do.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
