My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

ok, so this has been a day. leaving Valentine's Day out of it completely (I've managed to forget about it successfully most of the day),there have been a few challenges. mostly financial.
1) D14 had a volleyball game; I had to bring her uniform to her since she was with xH. I had trouble finding the place, so both of them phoned me literally every 30 seconds until I arrived. no doubt that helped me get there sooner, right?! I hate school events; xH attends, chats up old friends like he's completely without shame (because he is) and I sit by myself while he's being gregarious.
2) got ready to go to church this morning, pulled my clothes out of the dryer--and they were still wet. my dryer has quit working. no way can i afford to fix it until at least mid-April.
3) went to the drugstore to pick up my new b/p med, but found out it was $70 after insurance. obviously unable to afford that. will have to go to a cheaper drug in a different class of drugs--my doctor and I discussed this possibility--which will come with mega side effects.
4) took a long-term look at finances. I haven't yet renewed my license plates (due last May), I've been without car insurance for the past month, can't afford D14's only major extracurricular--a wonderful children's choir--and xH refuses to pay for it so it will have to end, no way to pay half of her 8th grade trip to Washington DC unless I cut out something frivolous like--oh, I dont' know, heat, electricity, water, mortgage, car payment (already a month late on all of those). I have no consumer debt besides mortgage and car payment--this is all old medical bills, utilities, and attorney fees (oh yeah, for that divorce I didn't want to begin with).

choking on irony here and trying very hard not to despair.

what was the major $$ stressor? 2 1/2 years ago I fell and dislocated my shoulder, requiring extensive surgery. then xH left, and I couldn't keep up with the co-pays I owed. one of them went to a horrific collections company which refused to take partial payments or set up a payment plan, and ended up having my wages garnished in December-January for 3 times the original amount (when court costs and their atty fees were added in). so--I'm completely at a loss as to how I'm going to make it here. xH absolutely refuses to help, thinks all child-related stuff should be split 50-50 altho he makes 250% of my salary. complains that I'm underemployed--which is probably true but I have a job that allows me to be with D14 when she's out of school. that may have to go, she may have to spend more time with her dad (especially if I end up without heat, which is possible--again). my school nurse position is grant-funded and I make new grad wages for all practical purposes; the bad thing is, if I stay with the same employer and keep benefits, I would also keep the same salary because they're on a "raise freeze" for the foreseeable future. and yeah, I"ve checked that out.

so...looks like I'm finally up against that wall. new job, less time with D14, possibly selling my house (which would be very difficult because it needs a lot of work--and I don't have the $$ to put into it). I'm trying not to panic here. also trying not to go to that place in my head that reminds me that I've put 2 husbands thru school and internships to make decent livings, and here I am with nothing. but I won't go there.

I was going to keep my wedding ring to give to D14; I've sold about all the rest of the jewelry of any value. Now I need to find a place to give me a good price on that--it's thick and heavy, and I know that gold is going for a lot/ounce right now.