It will get better in time. You are never alone, i.e., your children are there w/you, family, friends, board members and the man upstairs is always w/you. I know what you are saying, but really, it's not very good company right now.
It's okay to cry, but do it away from your children. They do not need to see you upset.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
