The teenaged analogy seems a very good one. Teenagers, naturally, are not fully developed, have not had an adult relationship, and have a lot to learn about themselves, about their emotional and sexual capacity, and how to become fully integrated, compassionate, mature adults. All of this takes time, experience, and a willingness to learn and grow. So, it goes without saying that what "worked" as a teen would not be acceptable to most adults. (Just as it would be pretty sad if most teens continued to eat only the things they were willing to try right through adulthood--what a wealth of tastes and experiences they would be foregoing.)
You say your "marriage and family is a fulfilling situation, just not sexually." How would you know if it's fulfilling or not, if you've never had a genuine mature relationship combining sexuality and emotional intimacy?
Exactly. I probably don't know. But that doesn't mean my current "happiness" isn't real. It's kind of like saying, how can you know you're truly happy if you've never actually experienced being a billionaire? You say you're truly happy not being a billionaire, but how could you know? Well, it's all relative, perhaps, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about.
As for the teenage analogy, and it not being acceptable to adults, my point is my sexual experience and interests might also be more at the teenage stage. Sure, I'm interested in a good satisfying relationship. But at this stage, with virtually no experience with female sexual response, I'm also driven by sexual curiosity and sense of fun and adventure about sex. I'd hugely enjoy going out with some nice women who wanted to do nothing more than necking and petting in the back of the car in the park, giving each other manual orgasms, etc. I've never done that.
So, sure, a genuine mature relationship sounds great -- but not right now. First I'd like to just find out what it's like to have sex with a woman who likes sex a lot, even if she doesn't give a hoot about me, and just wants sex for the sake of sex, and would like me to give her orgasms, and see what that's like. This is all totally new to me.
Not exactly compatible with being in a long-term marriage, is it? Yeah, I know.
