Wow mb. That's rough . Of course the timing doesn't help.
Detaching is so hard...every day I try to regain some of the territory in my own brain. I am lucky because H doesn't want to fight with me right now.
But PDT is right that it takes two to have a convo/fight/phone call. You need to talk to a safe person, write letters you don't send, etc. and get it all out...but stop engaging with your H! I also agree that you are sending mixed messages, not just with your words. Are you GAL and can your H see that? He won't believe you're done until he doesn't have the power to provoke you any more, until he can see that he can't reach you any more. I'm guessing that a 180 for you would be acting really, really calm, and refusing to about anything other than important parenting matters. He talks? You listen/validate. Practice doing it with a friend who pretends to be your H and tries to say things to enrage you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
. Of course the timing doesn't help.
