I was afraid of that... sorry mb28... he's looking for HELP from you but his emotions are spiking like a child so all you get is a tantrum...
Pay no mind to what he's saying... he's likely having a lot of fights with OW right now and he needs a punching bag... You didn't accept the blame which is a good thing.
I will warn you again though.. your impulses ARE at a vulnerable point right now so its NOT a good idea for you to interact with him... he can easily pull you into his drama...
DO NOT ENGAGE him.. if he has a key, change the locks... if you can't do that then LEAVE
IGNORE what he had to say, its just emotional outburst...
He's dealing with drama on his end now with the exposure on the OW's side...
His moods are spiking, this is not a surprise at all.. he will be apologetic again soon
You handled it as best you could.
Emotionally he is a FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD right now becuase his affair has taken over his judgement. My guess is when your children are acting out you don't fight with them you sit back and wait til the spike settles down - cool as a cucumber... you need to do the same with OM....
This affair is taking a lot of damage right now by the sounds of it, so you are having some impact.
The one thing I will warn you about is that when he comes to look for a fight... and you give him one... he will take that RIGHT BACK TO OW... and she will coddle him and reassure him that his leaving is for the best.
The best you can do when he comes looking for a fight is to leave, unless you think you can steel yourself from giving him one... Look at the fight as a GIFT for the OW... he comes to you for the gift, and he will hand that to her... but ONLY if you give that to him.
Your choice how you avoid that cycle... my advice is for you to just NOT be available.
When you fight, it does damage to your marriage... when you communicate you do damage to the affair.
