Help doing what is best for The Children

[flowmom]

R2C, I urge you to buy 2 copies of Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too. Read it and give the other one to your X without commentary. It's short and easy-to-read even when one is stressed out and not in the mood to read parenting theory. The authors do a much better job than I do explaining why allowing children to physically fight it out, or using corporal punishment to manage these situations is counterproductive. They also have another great book. Even in your situation, I believe there are some strategies that you and your X could agree on, especially if there is a reference for both of you.

I applaud you for attempting to communicate about this with your X. It looks like it will take some effort on both of your parts to overcome blaming and defensiveness when talking about parenting. I hope that this is something that you can work on individually and together.

I'm glad that you're getting help for your children. Part of being a great parent is bringing in support when one's children's need exceed one's resources or capabilities. And you are a great parent

Take care...