Ya, if you gave her something, you would be pursing to give more. Just because she seemed cold, doesn't mean it is cold to you. For me, I have never (yes, never) loved my W. To not be able to give her love when I feel so much love for my kids and a few others makes me feel very guilty. Showing that you care about her and the door to the improving you is open doesn't mean pursuing and trying to get her to say she loves you. I still can't say that to my W, but I hope I will soon.
Living out in western Canada, driving is like a blood transfusion - my W doesn't understand that! I've got 14lbs, feels great, doesn't it. Very macho perhaps, but still awesome. I'm sure you have more control over your life than you think, but R problems seem so much more powerful when you're in them.
