Db not working, MLC spouse pushing D

[foreverhesaid]

I have been a lurker for a while and have never started my own thread, although I have posted on some other peoples. My quick sich - Husband in MLC for about 1.5 years, was turning 40, started to withdraw from family and me, Bomb drop of PA with old girlfriend happened Dec 2008. I did all of the wrong things, just about gave up, but found this website in April 09.

Started DB-ing and things seemed slowly better after a long while. Husband started staying a home, only left every other weekend, although was spending alot of time on computer. I GAL, started dancing and painting, H started to tell me I looked better, seemed more interested in ML. I stopped snooping so wasn't really sure if OW was still in picture although hoped he seemed to be more interested in me and US. He made future statements, talked about retirement, all things that made me think he saw a future together.

Last week, he asked to talk to me, and I thought he might finally start to share his feelings. Instead, he brought up divorce, which had not been mentioned since the original bomb over a year ago in Dec. He said that he had noticed changes in me, he could feel my love for him, but that he was just done. <sigh> As you can imagine this was a real kick in the teeth. Just as I thought things were improving I get kicked back to square one.

So, I suppose my practical question is, how do I address the divorce when he wants to bring it up? I feel like I have to have some idea of what he wants, and yet for DB-ing we're not supposed to talk about it. We own our own business, so I obviously have to see what he intends there too. As the president its going to cause a major shakeup when he decides to leave.

Also, If I did 180's and he said he noticed changes and it wasn't enough - is that cheeseless tunnel? Do I 180 back to how I was? That doesn't seem to make sense. Sorry, my head is spinning. I'd love any insight if this has happened to someone else. I still don't want to give up, because I still really feel like its the MLC talking and not my real husband. OW is already a two time marriage loser, now is breaking up our marriage, they of course think they're soulmates but I still don't see it lasting. How can the third time be a charm when their relationship is started in infidelity?