Every newbie should read this

[Bworl]

My impression, having been around here since 2006, is that there is much more impatience in posters these days.

I remember when I was new here, being told by an oldtimer of the board that it was reasonable to expect at least a month for every year you had been married to completely work through the issues that had brought you to this point.

More and more it seems folks are being told that if you don't begin to see some positive response from your wayward spouse fairly quickly, you're ready to move on to a much more aggressive (and potentially fatal) approach.


These changes that the left behind spouses are making are supposed to be real and lasting. Perhaps I'm just a slow learner, but for me, long lasting changes are not things that happen overnight. It takes months, if not years, to change patterns of behavior that we have walked in for years. Thinking otherwise is usually wishful thinking, and a thought process predicated on the fact that we want to mark something off the magical list that ends with our spouse back with us.



Blessings,

Bill