- Accept that if you swore around your kids, you broke a wall through which your kids will experiment with. Behind that wall are all the nasties that others have been saying around them, incl on movies. But, your (and her) using a swear is what validated their use. I'VE DONE those mean insults/swears, too and I'm still paying the price. Whenever my W says that I swore - she's right. I was wrong. I try very hard to make sure what little swear/insults they heard, if they say it, I remind them I was wrong in doing it and point out how it makes their sitch worse.
-"fight it out" isn't ignoring, or helping to problem solve. It is letting them practise trying to solve their problem independent of adults. When our (5) kids fight, my wife always intervenes which makes it worse. I don't. This also makes it worse because we are giving two different messages. Can there be a middle ground? I usually point out all of the consequences of the fight. I also decided to intervene more, but only after I know the 'victim' has told the other person that they are hurt/or whatever. This has been helping. So I guess I'm saying if she and you are on opposite sites, pointing out what I feel are her faults in parenting probably won't help the kids solve much.
Would you want your parents around watching you and your (oops-EX)wife fight, hit each other, threaten suicide, and then say nothing?
Last edited by Onthemountaintop; 02/14/1004:32 PM. Reason: error
