H wants to talk tomorrow! Please advise.

[flowmom]

HC, that is tricky. But I hope to be in your shoes one day!

One thing that I really regret is that the last times that we talked about our R (before the S and just afterwards), I wish I had been a better listener/validator. First of all, I was so desperate to communicate my POV that I didn't allow for the silences in the convo that might have prompted him to talk more. I really don't know his frame of mind and that's partly why. Also, by not validating enough, H was probably left with a justifiable feeling of "she doesn't understand me". That was before I started DBing...I would handle things differently now, I hope.

Our Hs are very confused and expecting clarity from them right now is unrealistic. I think all you can expect from your H at this point is intention. The intention to work on the M, while you both live with the uncertainty. You're still in early days so managing your expectations is pretty important IMO.

Your H presumably knows what you want so you don't need to communicate that. Good luck!