It has taken me a while to get here, but I agree. I am done protecting him and her and trying to salvage their reputations when people come and talk to me. I feel very stupid about this, but then again I guess it is some of those personality traits of mine that has earned me what feels like a legion of friends and supporters.
I am so not used to letting people walk on me, why have I allowed it with him? And I always have? And I know he doesn't respect me when I do (who would!)As far as the reading I have done though this seems to be somewhat normal for women, they do everything they can to cater to their spouses in their 20's and then realize in their 30's they have needs too and start standing their ground.
He does not see how this thing has hurt him but I think it has been seeping in over the last weeks - like he now knows from a mutual friend that H lost his best friend because of this situation.
And if he chooses her he deserves her. I would not want to be her and will never be like her. Granted while I was sick and prior our marriage was full of resentment due to stress and utter neglect, her bubbly fun personality was very attractive, but I have that now and substance so...whatever! Oy!
I look at this situation now like when I took the "binky" away from my son. You outlined that very well in your trantrum example.
