I have posted a little about my sitch on this forum a few days ago. My H and I have been living in separate houses an hour a way for 1 month today. First week we were getting a D, second we were working on M, now we don't talk about anything but he calls me a lot and tries to have things be okay without having the relationship, we don't spend time together, etc. It's more an emotional thing, like he just needs to know I am still here. He doesn't want me in his life, but doesn't want me out of it. Though he has agreed to counseling, he has agreed that spending time together is important....here I sit waiting for what 1 month later?
My H says or has said: I love you and care about you, that was never the problem. I am uncertain and have doubt and I don't know why. I think we are on two different levels I can't tell you something that is going to make you feel better. and I know that's what you want to hear. I can't tell you it will be fine when I don't know that. So far has not admitted to an affair. Has denied it.
He is going to call me to clarify "where we are". He says we are on different levels in this and is going to tell me what he thinks fixing our marriage means, but he also doesn't knwo what that means to me, he just knows that I am here and he needs to catch up.
My dilemma is, I don't know what to say to him. I know where I am and I want him to know that I am willing to work on this, however as I stated above I truly do not believe he is going to find what he is missing if he so certain of where I am, or if I keep being his friend, etc. So what do I do? How do I do a 180 and still let him know I am willing to try? Or do I say I am going to limit contact with you because I can't build a foundation with you that you don't even know you want to build. That's what's so confusing about this, how do I say what I need without being needy?
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
