Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

So a little annoyed today. When we have a little time together all is good because we can fake the happy happy. But as soon as real life hits again, that's where we crumble. We went out for lunch and then this car almost backed up into us. I swerved out of the way but H got mad and went off on me for not using my horn. Ok, maybe I should have, but I was trying to process everything all at once and was just trying to get out of the way. We were safe so no reason to make a big deal out of it. Good gracious. Then after we ordered, they ended up bringing us an extra drink. I saw H's was almost gone so I asked if he had ordered an extra one. He said no, so I tried to see if he could give his old drink to S (b/c there was just a little left in that one & I didn't want S to have too much). Everytime I tried to ask it though, he would get mad and say that it wasn't his drink. I know the new one wasn't his, but just listen to me for a second! OMG, I was getting so frustrated. At that point, it wasn't about the stupid drink, it was about him being too stubborn to take the time to actually listen to what I'm saying. Today scared me. Everything has been so happy and fun recently, but it's not real life - it's like the dating life or the couple on a nice vacation - you don't necessary have to deal with the trying circumstances of everyday life. It scares me b/c I know I don't want the life I had but how do you really know how the person is going to act in real life until you're back in real life. It's the daily grind of kids, meals, dishes, housework, etc that show what a couple is made of. He's not anywhere near there and I honestly wonder if he can ever get there. But, despite all this negativity I'm typing, I'm still in good spirits. I'm still determined to enjoy tomorrow! I'm frustrated but I'm not destroyed.