The tunnel of darkness

[kjensen]

Hi V-
D14 is coping OK. D12-not so much. She is so full of anger(hatred she says) towards H, primarily for moving home and then leaving again right when she was warming up to him a bit. Feels very betrayed. She won't discuss this with him, so when he is around she just acts sullen and closed off and he doesn't know what she is so upset about.

I haven't stepped into the middle of that one and am just watching from the sidelines, which is painful.

Today was the info meeting on D12's potential Australia trip. H met us there and we had to wait a bit to go through the whole presentation.

I brought up the kids education money(which H's lawyer wants split between us and H now doesn't see as primarily designated for the kids), H got mad and left before we got to the presentation. He's since emailed me and I responded.

H is still so angry at me for anything and everything(yes today I deserved it for bad timing)...I really don't feel like validatng him, walking on eggshells around him...I think he needs to see the reality..I'm not pushing it, but I don't feel like we're in a place to sugar-coat things either...I'm just not sure how well one can divorce-bust during a divorce and I'm not sure I want this divorce busted or feel it is bustable.

I think its inevitable. It has to happen for H to move onward with any hope of coming out of his MLC..If his anger was gone I think I'd feel differently. But as he is so very angry at me, and he is divorcing me and going after my money/assets in a way he said he never would, I think I need to be clear about my (or my girls')wishes/needs when they are being stepped on.

I don't recall reading about any couple going through MLC and divorce and coming back together later? Does this actually happen? I just have a hard time imagining it with all of these negative feelings of anger and hurt and self-preservation flying around.

Anyone?