#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

Here are some mini-goals that I've achieved in the past couple of weeks since the separation:

* H hasn't mentioned divorce or mediation or the coparenting plan in a couple of weeks.
* H has started talking more than the bare minimum to me...occasionally tells me about things that happened with the kids
* H has told me about some future plans, to be considerate as a coparent
* H has disclosed a couple of personal things (work, sleeplessness)

Why do you think that you were able to meet these goals?

Basically giving him a lot of space and privacy, and acting friendly and considerate.

• haven't brought up the R once
• haven't initiated any non-parenting conversations, and even those have been minimum
• almost never phone, emails brief and strictly parenting and other business
• always greet and say goodbye to him
• smile and make eye contact when appropriate, act normal and not tense/stressed out
• leave room and don't hover
• thank him for anything that isn't the bare minimum of coparenting (DB coach recommended this and I think it's had results)
• asked him how he wants to be communicated with, asked his permission before launching into talking about something (more DB coach advice)
• asked for certain behaviours for the sake of coparenting (e.g. the kids need for us to have courteous and pleasant interactions)
• almost never ask him questions about himself or his life
• backed off on trying to micromanage his time with the kids

Thanks for asking that. It helps me to document what's working.