Well on VDAY H is only going to be here in the morning and I doubt he'll do anything for me. So I'm working on my PMA - I'm going to focus on making it a day of loving me instead of keeping tabs on gift giving. If I get any acknowledgement at all from H it would be wonderful but considering things, I won't expect much.
I did notice his wedding ring was off yesterday, I was in a tizzy over a whiny child at the time and flipped out. I confronted him on why he isn't wearing the ring and he reassured me that he takes it off when he goes to the gymn and has done since before we split up. I assume he's telling the truth - first of all, he almost always wears it, secondly, he's at the point where he'd just tell me if he didn't want to wear it and not try to spare my feelings, and thirdly, he said it so calmly and without anger that I did not feel he was speaking out of defensiveness.
I actually felt comforted by his response. I immediately apologized for being paranoid. So this year my VDay gift is him not Ding me, and still wearing his ring I guess.
It sure would be nice to be reassured that no matter what our troubles, he still loves me, but I'm going to reassure myself, self soother.
Back to ODP missus, have to say that Mr Rabbit's insistance on not wearing his wedding rings strangles my heart every time I see his empty finger, mine I took off after he left and I cant bring myself to put it back on again, I dont feel married enough yet!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I did get some smug satisfaction. H started yelling at me about misplacing a chord, and I said what the MC said to say - "YOu're getting angry in the way you agreed to work on in MC">
At first, H denied it. So I calmly said, ok what did we agree on then?" and H had to admit I was right. So he calmed down and asked that I don't lose things we share, I said fair enough.
After he left I found the chord - IN HIS OFFICE ON HIS DESK. I believe HE left it there last time HE used it.
Wow. Piecing is for the birds. Who wants smug satisfaction on Valentines Day? Yet congratulations on not having a total bun fight blowout and now head to the land of ODP and self soothing which is where I'm headed now too.
Well at least this weekend H was transparent about his plans. Usually I have to use ODP when H disappears "into the city" for a day or two - today he told me he was walking across the golden gate bridge and even txted me asking if S and I saw him walking across. At least I know he wasn't spending VDay with another woman!
Boy, are the expectations low this year! LOL
Had a lovely day with S. Took him to a play in San Francisco that some actor friends of mine were in, and some more were attending. S loved it. Then he played long and hard at the park. It was a lovely sunny afternoon, finished off by some chocolate .
H4L, that must have been disappointing. It's not that I'd want a gift, but at least an acknowledgement of the hope and love.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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