Time to start a new thread and possibly a new beginning???
Yesterday I went to the C to vent my frustration over my sitch and to try to get direction. I somewhat expected the C to tell me that I had given my H plenty of chances and to move on. Instead the C tells me that my H has met with him individually and my H has figured out a lot of things, things my H and I had already discussed like he understands he is depressed, he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. The C couldn't understand why he hadn't spoken to me about what they had discussed. He recommended that I give my H another couple of weeks to see if he would come to me...well, it didn't take that long...
Yesterday evening, I was sitting at a restaurant with my father waiting for some others to join us. I got a text from my H telling me he tried to call me the night before (my phone never rang) and that had been nice seeing me and that he missed me. I replied telling where we were if he would like to join us. He showed up about 20 minutes later and had dinner with us. During dinner, I couldn’t help but quietly ask my H “So, you miss me?” He looked me in the eye and said yes. After dinner we went and sat in my car for awhile and talked. He told me that the time apart has helped him realize that I am his best friend and he doesn’t want to lose me. He says he wants to work on moving back. It was what I had been waiting so long to hear. There was a bunch of other mushy stuff but I won’t go into detail.
My H says he wants to continue with IC and also MC.
How do I keep my expectations at zero after everything he said? It all seemed so sincere and heartfelt however, I know I need to let him show me that things have truly changed. I am excited and afraid at the same time. I just don’t know if I could handle getting my heart stomped on one more time.
He is supposed to come over tonight and cook me dinner. I'll just keep repeating my new mantra...no expectations...no expectations....no expectations...I'm not sure it is working!
