The teenaged analogy seems a very good one. Teenagers, naturally, are not fully developed, have not had an adult relationship, and have a lot to learn about themselves, about their emotional and sexual capacity, and how to become fully integrated, compassionate, mature adults. All of this takes time, experience, and a willingness to learn and grow. So, it goes without saying that what "worked" as a teen would not be acceptable to most adults. (Just as it would be pretty sad if most teens continued to eat only the things they were willing to try right through adulthood--what a wealth of tastes and experiences they would be foregoing.)
You say your "marriage and family is a fulfilling situation, just not sexually." How would you know if it's fulfilling or not, if you've never had a genuine mature relationship combining sexuality and emotional intimacy?
