Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[sandi2]

I'd say OM was given enough rope to do damage to himself. I think you are going to come through this looking like a calm, cool knight and OM.....well, needless to say.

[ClingingToHope]

Highjack alert. Good morning Sandi. I haven't heard from you since I moved forums. I think you gave up on me. I tried to follow your advice, but I feel now that there was nothing I could have done to reverse my situation. My W is determined to see this through and only after will there be any thoughts on whether it was actually the right thing to do.

Thanks for chiming in when you could.

[pigskin]

NEWSFLASH!

Well guess who popped into my working place. The OM! Evidently the person who I talked to about his going away party called him. So he freaked and got a friend to come and confront me at work.

They demanded to see my boss first. She wasn't in, so they came into my office on false pretenses and said that if I didn't stop "harassing" people they were going to get my fired! Evidently the OM's friend knows my boss. LOL.

They obviously didn't know much about my company. I told them go ahead and call my boss. In fact, I told them I would tell her for them. They seemed a little surprised that I was so open. One of my friends had come in and told them that she knew what was going on and that they had to leave. The OM got pissed and said "how do you know what's going on". Then I told he and his friend.
"well everyone knows what's going on." "I have nothing to hide but the truth, so everyone knows." I they were both a little shocked at my candor, but hey... it's the truth.

So after they left, I called her to say what had happened. She said the OM's friend was just an acquaintance and she always thought he was weird. So she said she had my back and was pissed that they actually came in to our working place, throwing her name around and threatened me. She called them right after to give them a piece of her mind. Ha!

Oh and the best part. The OM's friend is a pastor! I asked him if Jesus would approve me getting fired, and he just got angry. Oh well I guess Jesus is used only when it's convenient.

At one point in the conversation with them, I did get pissed because the OM's friend called my W delusional. I told him, don't f'n call my W delusional. She told me the truth. The OM demanded to know what she told me. So I told him. While I was telling him, I was watching his reaction. He never stopped me to say I was wrong or shook his head. So evidently it was true. Crazy I tell you.

Afterwards I did tell my W. I told her to watch her back at work because her ex-boss was nuts.

If there is one thing I would like others to pray for is for my W to not lose her job over this. I understand she should get some kind of consequence for her actions, but this was a little over the top. The guy was just an @$$. I even asked her how she could have had feelings for a guy who just threatened me. The first time he did it, she didn't believe me and there was no one around to prove it. Well now, my whole office saw what had happened.

Poor guy. I guess he's so old the Alzheimer's is kicking in. The paranoia must be getting to him. The real world really is stranger than fiction.

I do have to say that the reason I was so calm and nonchalant when dealing with @$$ #1 and his pastor buddy was from DBing. I got my balls back and I wasn't taking crap from anyone.

Plus with my newfound faith in God, I knew in my heart I was right and that gave me strength. So thanks to all!

First to address your reply to me, I wasn't a big man at all about the events I wrote about. It was before I knew what was going on, so I was completely ignorant about their relationship. Had I known, I would have put my foot down and refused to attend with the kids, and certainly would have told the in-laws, who would have not gone along with it either.

Second, I have to say that the OM's visit to your office may be a HUGE turning point in your situation. He has exposed his true colors to your W now. I have to think that is going to play in your favor dramatically. Congratulations on the way you handled it and stay cool going forward. I believe things are starting to look up for you my friend...

[MrBond]

"I'd say OM was given enough rope to do damage to himself. I think you are going to come through this looking like a calm, cool knight and OM.....well, needless to say."

I hope so. When I talked to her last night to ask if she was okay, she sounded pretty indifferent. I think she was shutting herself off from the sitch. I wonder if that is normal for people in depression. It's as if she's still numb to any kind of emotion.

[sgctxok]

Hi! Please start a new thread. When threads get too long the mechanics of the board do not function as well.
Thanks!

[confusedinpa]

Stuck

All I can say is "Wow" - you have shown incredible strength. I am just thankful that I had found out about the truth in about my WAW when I was 180 miles away. I do not think I would have that type of resolve if the POS that my WAW had cheated on me with got in my face.

I don't have any advice but you know my prayers are with you brother!

Stay the enlightened man!

[sandi2]

When I talked to her last night to ask if she was okay, she sounded pretty indifferent. I think she was shutting herself off from the sitch. I wonder if that is normal for people in depression. It's as if she's still numb to any kind of emotion.

Yes, I believe it is. That was a lot of my problem was being so depressed and not wanting to deal with anything....especially my MR. Anything that took effort & energy....I would do like you said....shut down. If I didn't shut down, then I would act very angry or some other negative reaction.

[MrBond]

sandi,

Thanks. So in my case, I was thinking of telling my W that if she needed to talk, I was there to listen if she'd like. Should I do that or is that negative pursuing?

I sense fear is what's making her shut down. That if she actually stopped to contemplate things, she'd breakdown.

[sandi2]

I was thinking of telling my W that if she needed to talk, I was there to listen if she'd like.

My first thought was that it would be pressure to her, you know, like if you were to call her and tell her that and she would feel put on the spot. But, if you were together doing something else (or had been on the phone talking about other things), and started to say good-night and you added that on right as you were getting ready to leave, then it would give her time to think about it. I think it might work better if it were said face to face. Just make sure it doesn't sound like you are pressing.

[MrBond]

Thanks sandi. I'll reply to you on my new thread.

By the way, I'm changing my username to "MrBond". I'll explain on the new thread.

See you there.