You know that relationship talks are a danger area, mostly because in your state you are less likely to handle it well. When it degenerates into accusations and recriminations, all you're doing is pouring gas on the flames.


What you want is an answer from her. Though actually let me tell you that you probably don't really want that answer right now.


What YOU need to do is to begin planning for a future without her. If she is multiple affairing (and oh my, aren't you learning the hazards of digging for info), I don't expect that she will remain for long. But she could surprise you I suppose.


The end result is that you remain, you will continue to have a life regardless of what she chooses to do, and you will continue to have children who are going to be in desperate need of a parent who still has their head screwed on straight.


My suggestion is that, in lieu of a planned discussion, simply make some decisions on how you can continue to stay in your home, pay your bills, and care for your kids - without your wife's help or input. If you are able to do so, throw the bills that you can that are mostly hers her way to be paid with her pay.


I'm suggesting that you prepare to do this on your own.


You're probably going to be doing so anyway.


If she wants/needs to leave, then she can leave. Truth be told, I'm not sure that if my spouse was multiple affair'ing it that I wouldn't sit her down and suggest that it was time for the separation to take place. But that's a decision you have to make.


At any rate, now more than ever, you have to be doing all of this for you. I think it was Mach who pointed out that your marriage as you knew it is already gone. When your spouse is out boffing other people, it's safe to say what you once had is no longer there.


So start living that way.


But you need to find a way to keep from turning it into a persecution. I assume you still love the woman you married (though probably not the person she's turned in to so much). And if so, you probably also would like to hang on to a sliver of hope that one day there is a chance for a resurrection. And if so, that's ok.


It just can't drive your decision making anymore.


Your decisions for now are driven by finding Eric's future and his kids future. Period.


Don't dive in to the pool she is swimming in. I hear there are nasties in the water.


Blessings,

Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."