I may have gotten a bit carried away in my thinking she was perturbed. The kids had a snow day today, so she probably assumed I was working in the office and too busy to pick up so she was talking to the kids through the answering machine.
Just goes to show that just as WAWs can assume negativity in everything we do, the same goes for us.
I only arrived at that given W called again later in the day to talk to me and let me know all was well at her destination. No irritation or any indication she thought I was ignoring her.
In any case, I will continue to ignore her contacts and call/text back only if it is urgent business. Any other business requiring a reply will be done when I feel like getting around to it.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
W called tonight to check in from her vacation and to thank me profusely for an errand I took care of for a charity.
She was all cheerful and bubbly, even addressed me as "dear" which is highly unusual. Mentioned how she and her friends were talking about how "the guys" would love it where they are since its all expenses paid.
I wonder if she feels awkward being the only one who is not committed in their marriage. The two friends she is with and their husbands (who are good friends of mine) were frequent dining out partners with us during better times and we are all pretty close. At least one positive thing is that these friends are the only ones she has that are ripping her a new one over what she is doing. All of her other friends are either suffering from depression themselves and/or are in failing marriages or divorced outright.
I wish she would store up some of this vacation attitude for the next time I see her in person. Seems like she's always got a storm cloud over her head when she's with me, or if not, the barometer is definitely moving its way down...
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Yet another email from vacationing W just now, with just "Hi" in the subject line and no text.
I will ignore it.
If I had quit on my marriage and was involved with another woman, probably the last thing I would do is send little "base touching" emails to my W. It would be like firing off a "hey what's up" message to a total stranger.
Trying to psychoanalyze a WAW is pretty pointless, but I had nothing to post today so this will have to suffice...
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Yet another email from vacationing W just now, with just "Hi" in the subject line and no text.
I will ignore it.
If I had quit on my marriage and was involved with another woman, probably the last thing I would do is send little "base touching" emails to my W. It would be like firing off a "hey what's up" message to a total stranger.
Trying to psychoanalyze a WAW is pretty pointless, but I had nothing to post today so this will have to suffice...
don't reply to texts unless they ask you a question, trust me after a while she will be curious as to why you aren't responding, she's sending out feelers to see what's up at your end, keep her in the dark a bit, it's ok, you're allowed ;-)
an awesome post by gucci on a situation similar to this:
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
IMO the BEST choices are...
1. Ignore. 2. Contact via email
The other two choices would not be in my vocabulary until SHE either called me or ASKED me to call.
My top choice is # 1 (ignore) and here is my reasoning...
The thing that I have observed over the years is that one of the most effective ways to get a woman back seems to be when you leave them curious to why you didn't call them or return their call or email them after they emailed you first.
I am only talking about ignoring this for this one initial email. Since you have done such a marvelous job of leaving her alone (which was fabulous) she could be putting out "feelers" because she is starting to question her decision. Giving her this time by staying away is an excellent move because it gives BOTH people a sometimes well needed breather. During this time I would guess that she has secretly gone back and forth over and over if she really is doing the right thing. She may be wondering if she has lost you. The key is that she HAS to be wondering. Let her fill in the blanks to what you are up to.
Now. IF she is still determined and just wants to get this over with and nail down some final details, then again, ignoring is not going to hurt you in the least.
My guess is that if you ignore this one time, that she will contact you again and ask you if you got her last email. This would give you the opening to tell her "yes, I got it, but I have been busy and haven't had time to get together" (or any one of a number of reasons that show her how busy you have been and how much you are letting her go. (which again is the key to them coming back.. them feeling that you have let go)
The second option...
Email her back. Answer her questions and tell her what is good for you. This option won't hurt you, so don't think just because I favor option 1 that this option would be "wrong"...
Moral of the story.. Strong, confident men are attractive to women. A strong confident man is decisive. Be stong and confident, decide what you are going to do and execute.
As you get stronger. (and you are doing GREAT) you need to get to the point where you don't have to ask us what you should do, but you just do it because you know you are secure.
Remember.. No pressure. Be nice. Be confident. Be mysterious. Be decisive. Let her see a busy man going somewhere with his live. A happy man that is busy is very attractive to women..
Good luck
His advice is gold, read it, take advantage of this type of wisdom!
With W away on vacation for Valentine's Day I had entertained the thought of having flowers sent to her hotel.
But I nixed that idea quickly as it would be pursuit. I wouldn't send flowers to a random woman I knew had zero interest in me. It would make me look like some stalking goof.
Not sure if my friends (the husbands of the women who are vacationing with my W) are planning on doing anything like that. I have a feeling if they do my W may turn it on me saying something like "See, THEY did that for their wives". I have a response prepared: "Well, I didn't send flowers to their wives either. Why would I? Their hearts are not with me."
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
In the highly unlikely event my W does something for me for Valentine's Day, does anyone have any input on how I should respond?
The odds of her doing something are close to zero, but I want to be prepared just in case. I never know what might happen, especially given her strange, out of the blue emails saying "Hi".
Right now I'd probably just express my gratitude and say "Thank you very much, that was a very nice thing you did and it was unexpected. I appreciate it." Kind of like I would do if some random woman did it who I had no idea had an interest in me. But I'd probably not reciprocate other than to say thanks, and then maybe talk to them later about it.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
