Another WAW, Advise Please

[cannon]

@ bworl

i appreciate your advice and i think this is one problem with message boards. everyone who reads any post inserts there own personal feelings.

it is hard for me to express my feelings in a short post on a message board.

i'm approaching this in a, what is right for me, no punishing, no manipulating.

i ask questions, because i need to put some feelings down, i don't feel like talking to friends and family would help my cause so this is my outlet.

i ask questions to see if others have traveled the same path and did it help in the long run. does setting a kid schedule help in a in house separation sitch, etc?

i need to not do things that she can pay someone to do. i need to pull away from her, that might draw her closer, it might lead us to D. I'm not really sure, but i won't be dwelling on what she thinks or how she feels.

as far as the consequences of her choices, she is living in a dreamy fog right now. originally she wanted to live here for a year or two and be roommates and she could have EA with OM and i would do all of the things i used to do. i believe with help here i have shifted that. now EA has "stopped" she thinks she can move out, kids will be great "they are resilient" and we can be great friends(if we can't communicate as H and W how that is going to change?) and we(she and i separately) will live at the same lifestyle we do currently. a dreamy world where everyone still thinks she is great because she puts on a fake front to help everyone but herself and those closest to her. a need to hurt men, because men hurt her in her childhood.

I did not find all of these things before we married and had a D and then a second D. we have the greatest Ds in the world in my opinion, they are incredibly smart and wise beyond their years, and funny, have great personalities. I'm not sure how W and i are so successful with raising them and I hope my W decision does not F*** that up.

so i welcome your advice. hopefully i have explained myself a bit better but, if you feel that i don't listen then that's fine to.