Their radar is extra sensitive and they "sense" what we are feeling. As for the hash he's slinging, it's all projections and the hurts of a little boy. I think you did well in hanging up the phone. You do not need to put yourself in the line of fire when he's ranting.
What do you do? Listen to what he says and say I'm sorry you feel that way, then either walk away or hang up. The more yo try to defend yourself and the situation, the more he's going to come at you. If it would help, change the subject real quick, that throws them off their mark and may calm him down. They want us angry and come at them because they want the justification as to why they are doing what they are doing. Turn the tables and react differently. They can't handle the change up and will then muddle through and settle down.
I'm very sorry he's acting like a 2 yr old.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
