Getting started again.

[Lost Rabbit]

Spent the afternoon getting quite frustrated with no work to do at work but finally left at quarter past four and it was lovely but chilly outside which lifted my mood. Got home and H was pleased about his shopping trip to get dinner goodies and I said I was going to have a nice shower, got dressed up a bit H stayed the same although would have showered first thing he is very clean lol!

Brought my valentine goody bag into the study which he has done a fab job of sorting out it really was a mess in there! My final bag consisted of my handmade card, a small bottle of pink fizz, my hand made chocolates and the little book on walking I had found him. After exclaiming you didnt give pressies on valentines day to which I said why not, he produced a card from the draw. Inside it the printed bit said "love you today and always" Later he produced some lovely red carnations from his car, I love carnations had them in my wedding bouquet along with roses, gypsophilia and spider crysanthamums.

Cooking dinner I consumed a bit too much sherry lol.. I had sprinkled sparkly hearts all over the dinner table and lit the candles. Dinner was delicious give my man some meat a pot of cream and some alcohol and a feast is produced! Conversation got a bit deep at one point, ended up talking about wedding rings and he said his wedding ring was a bit like our marriage old and battered, and when I laughed and said I was hoping for a new one for my twenty fifth wedding anniversary next year he laughed and said he might be persuaded to wear a new one, one day.. Lots of other stuff came up but it wasnt a row but just uncomfortable at times, like him mentioning he wanted to be with me not because we were married, and I replied I wanted to be married not "shacked" up with someone, if that makes sense because we are technically married.

Even spoke about him leaving and he said he had too and I'd agreed, I replied I agreed as I could see I had no other choice, you broke my heart leaving me... also mentioned when he was saying you had to be individuals in a marriage, I said he didnt have all of me now does he not realise that and he said he didnt think he had lost any of me.. well we all know the answer to that one folks dont we even if he doesnt choose to see it that way..

Later on we sat listening to music and he said he got a Euromillions ticket, what would you do says I you wouldnt have to do anything you didnt want too, naughtily insinuating he might be off again.. ooh lots of holidays and go places, buy some flats near my hobbies so we could stop over in different places.. Oh says I well that would be hard with me at work then, why work he replied if I won 40 million you wouldnt have too.. I replied I didnt have to before but I do now.. yes youve got it he still doesnt get it.. this is gonna have to be spelt out in very small words one day I wonder..

One dodgy topic he started to talk about getting off his depression meds, I understand him wanting too but advised it was too early days, said get yourself back into a job for three months odd then come off them.. he has a medical soon and doesnt want to be on them for that but he is going to have to be .. I told him that my friends who'd been on them said that when you felt well enough to come off them to leave it longer as its still too early and also depends on how you react to coming off them.. I left it as expect really to be on and coming off them for a whole year which will be before xmas this year..

Anyway sorry for the waffle folks I have the weekend to myself now as H is away and I intend to relax now for the next five weeks.. well not all of it!