Ex also said whilst he was talking to me that on the way home son had actually thrown the last 5 years at him, telling him that he hadnt been there for him, he is the reason he as all this anger and its time he woke up and realised yes it is all dads fault son has no confidence. why he as these explosions of temper and why he feels like a failure in everything he does. Well done son I couldnt of said it better myself! I tried explaining to ex that son has 5 years worth of pent up feelings and anger and I knew one day he would throw it at ex, I also told ex that son is afraid of saying no or disagreeing with dad due to the fact that he is afraid of rejection and afraid that dad will stop talking to him again or that he will lose dad again. ex said he will never lose him again and he wont stop talking to him again ever. I had a lengthy chat out in the street with ex sat in the warm car and me stood out in the frosty night air. I think wholeheartedly son hit a soft spot with ex when he as said all these things to him, ex did appear to be upset and I did sort of see some remorse in him, but I cut it short and came back in to sit and have a lengthy chat with son, son is where i should of been to make him feel better I am is mum and not ex's mum. ex must of phoned another 5 times to make sure son was ok, after son had chatted to me and shed some tears the conclusion I came to was that since son and ex have been talking not once have they sat down and had a proper discussion, regarding the last five years, when ex made yet another call I asked him to take son to a neutral location sit down and have a proper talk with him, let son say and get off his chest all his pent up feeling and thoughts, let him get it out in the open and let dad know everything what he feels, thinks and what he is angry about. ex said he will do this. then ex suggested he came back and picked son up to take him back to the pub to watch the laddy sing that we know was singing there that night, I didnt think it a good move but asked son and he went back, 3 am this morning ex drops son off home, and guess what ex was supposed to be working today at 6 am. So folks what was going great guns now seems to be backsliding for a while. sorry for the lengthy posts but I also use this board as my diary of events
