!Help! Need Advice and encouragement!

[stark648]

I had given up on a response---thanks. Yes, we are still legally married. According to her, "our marriage has been over for years". we have been married for 12 years, together 13. The OM was a friend from the AA club. They/we have known each other for 4 years or so. my wife was friends with his wife but always closer to him-"they are so much alike".(Way closer now unfortunately) She has always had male friends, and I have been tolerant of it for the most part. My wife has even suggested that I get together with his soon-to-be ex because she and I are alike (we aren't). I have read some of your posts, sandi2, and greatly value your advice and insight. She has been saying she wants to be independent, etc., but of course, that isn't what she is doing. She says that she has been feeling guilty for so long because she hasn't felt the way she should towards me. We have had our ups and downs, some of which were due to her going back to drinking sometimes-or her mother living with us-or her bad depression about her weight and jobs. She has complained about being a "nobody" because of her job/lack of credit and schooling. Also because the house and all the vehicles are in my name alone. I had to do it that way for credit reasons, mainly(or she wasn't available to sign car titles). Anyways, she is going to watch the kids tomorrow night while I go "somewhere". I could go out with some friends, or possibly an ex-girlfriend that is still unmarried or a club or something...suggestions??