You seem to have the DBing thing down. The only thing I would say is with regard to the money. Do you need it back? Was it a significant amount? If not, what would happen if you told her not to worry about it and relieved her of that? Might it be a way of showing generosity as an unconditional loving husband?
I don't know if this is an option for you or not because I don't know any of the details of the financial aspect of it, so it was just a thought.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...