I would agree with Robx's last post to Mike...take a break...
As to reasoning with a WAW/WAH...there is no reasoning with the unreasonable...BUT...you don't have to be unreasonable yourself...
I agree a strong man is attractive...I also believe there is a fine line between a strong man and unreasonable man...
Mike has a lot of promise...his wife isn't appearing hateful...she is talking to him...
I believe she is reaching out to him in hopes he will make changes...her last ditch effort...she is not going to give up what is making her feel good for the first time in possibly years because he says "I will change"...she wants to see those changes...
OM is married...that will present some complications...it is real easy to say I am going to leave my wife for you and another for him to do it...most likely she will find out he is a jerk before that happens...right now he is telling her what she wants to hear...he is making her feel like a woman, desired, cherished, valued, and worth his time...something that she wasn't getting from her H, until she disclosed her dirty little secret (which I believe was a call for help)...
I believe OM's wife probably has no idea how bad her marriage is...I confronted my H's OW...that pretty much caused the downgrade of their relationship...I don't advocate it but it worked for me...
I think Mike needs to affirm himself as a man by being one...not bullying her...showing her he can change, that is for real, and that he isn't just talking the talk he is walking the walk...given time I think she would take notice (especially when things don't work out with OM, which lets be honest, rarely does it work out)
I was here when Bill arrived...he knows the mistakes that can be made as he made some of them...I believe, like many of us...we learm from our mistakes and try to help others...as I posted on my own page...
A smart person learns from their own mistakes... A wise person learns from the mistakes of others
I am in the camp of those who believe that going in all gangbusters on this WAW is not the way to go...patience is needed, understanding on how she got to feel how she does, the role Mike played in it (not saying she has a right because of it...but it is what it is...you can't change how a person feels after years of rejection), while not encouraging, condoning, or otherwise supporting the EA...you have to walk lightly...show by example...listen and respond...and above all patience patience patience...
There are three sides to every story...we are hearing Mikes...I feel if we heard Wife's there might be lots of advice on what to do about Mike and more sympathy for Wife...and then there is the truth of it all...that is where they will find the answers...and only they can do that...time, time, time...it took 16 years to get here...it isn't going to turn around in a week, month, or even a year...but there is definitely more hope then I have seen with others (Bill included)...I do believe there is hope...IF IT IS HANDLED CORRECTLY
