When you speak of your changes and hoping she will see those and then be willing to work on the M, are you talking about changes you are making for her? What specific changes are you doing?
BTW, there has been some folks to try the "parent swap" route with their kids and for the life of me, I don't see how that could be good for the children. How many years could that last with a set-up like that? You would get "burn-out" so quickly and that's no way to live life. I agree in going back home, but be prepared to stand up to her.
Don't expect her to be the person you M b/c she's going through something right now that is causing her to act like a total stranger, and I doubt that is going to change any time soon. It will take a lot of strength to deal with the stitch after you get home. Start now in making changes to become the man "you" like and that will be a wonder example for your children when they start to pick their life partners.
You won't be able to please your W with your changes. Don't even try to work at making her happy with you, b/c she is hell bent on not being happy, so keep that in mind and don't be depressed when it is played out for you to see. Just keep doing what you know is the right thing to do and aim at being the best person you can be.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
