DU, You can only work on you at this time. Detach from your H and his drama to protect yourself. Is your H depressed? That goes hand in hand with the MLC. There is no fixing him he has to go through this process till completion. Don't take his spew personally as it is just projection and trying to blame you for his unhappiness.
I wonder if the "bottom of the barrel" comment could have been the trigger of your H's MLC? That would be a pretty big blow to a proud man. My H is also a proud man, but I'm beginning to think that his excessive pride is a cover up for insecurities.
This is a long, rough ride. Hang on to your hat and patience! However it turns out, you will have become a better, stronger person because of it. As one wise DBer put it to me, at some point you'll realize this was an opportunity and a blessing in your life to get to know you as an individual again.
