Tonight was fun. H thought I looked hot so that is always good. Now the bad...he got out his phone to check if his mom had called him (their phone was busy and it was about the time she usually calls), and I could tell by what he was doing that he had received a text. He always deletes his texts now so I can't check them, but I took a chance and saw it was from a co-worker who has encouraged the relationship with OW. It said the movie was at 9:40 and not 9:50. H has her S in class and said something about going to the Lightning Thief (which I agreed to go see with him) with the coworker's S. Here is the thing. We had a great night. A lot of hand holding, kissing, hugging, but the problem is he never told me. Not even to say he is going with the co-worker. Not even to tell me we are not going to go.
Plus, he said something to his mom about how he had to move out but wasn't sure what he was going to do yet....WHAT?!?! Then what in the world is he going to do? Is he looking for apartments with OW like he did in May? I have so many questions, but I am scared to ask and ruin what is going on between us. He has been very affectionate, but I also know deep down that nothing has changed. I mean even the respect to just tell me something as small as I don't know if I am moving home or I am going to the movies just so I know, but he gives me $$ to go and by lingerie. I don't get it?
I have decided to send him a text right when the movie is starting that says good night and have fun at the movie. All night he watched the clock and I knew he wanted to leave, but didn't make a big deal out of it. He knew I was upset and he asked what was wrong, but I am not going to ask at his parents so I said nothing and he just kept being more affectionate. It is nice, but to me that is all a cover up and means nothing. He did say on the way home that he got me a V-day gift so I am thinking about not saying anything, but that would be wrong to me. I feel like this is how he controlled me for so long and put me down by making me feel bad for asking the tough questions because he is being so nice.
AHH! I hate this game, but I do love him and when he looks at me with his big brown eyes, I just think man I do love him.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
