WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Wow - didn't realize it had been almost 3 weeks since my last journaling....

We're still on the same path, so nothing to write about that.

I'm still actively looking for a job. The place that I had an interview with that was only 3 miles away, made me an offer, but it was 1/2 of what I had been making. I knew they were going to be low but didn't think it would be that low. I asked them for another 20%. Their president had been out of town for the last couple of weeks (or so says the HR manager) so that's stalled.

I had another interview at a place 120 miles away. I'm lukewarm about that one as it's far so I'd be back to only seeing my boys on the weekends. I had gotten an email from the recruiter the next day to call her, but haven't been able to get in touch with her. Not sure what's going on there.

The job that was 20 miles away, that seemed promising around Xmas but then went radio silent, finally sent a no thanks email. I figured as such but still sucks.

I had a second interview with a place in CT scheduled for this week, but at the last minute, they cancelled saying they are in an indefinite hiring freeze. Oh well..... really didn't want to be 3.5 hours from my boys anyway.

So, it seems the job search has stalled somewhat.

She has gotten more reluctant to give up the boys extra nites. Not sure if her lawyer warned her that she's not having the boys enough (I have them almost 70% of the time), who knows. She wouldn't let them cover over to watch the Pro Bowl with me. I wound up TIVO'ing it and we watched it together on Monday nite when they came home.

We went to my buddy's to watch the superbowl so that was a good time. It was a good game and my boys had fun.

Last week Weds she wound up slipping in the parking lot of her apt complex and got a concussion. I was very supportive and what not. She was suppose to get the boys that nite, so I offered to bring them over so they could see her (they haven't seen her in almost a week). We picked her up and went out for dinner. She was still feeling nauscous and dizzy and was talking really slow. I had an inteview on Thurs so I had to drop off the boys with her, otherwise I would have just kept them.

On Thurs, after the interview I called to see how she was. Her mom had taken the boys to school and she was getting X'rays as her hip was bothering her from the fall. I wound up picking up the boys since she couldn't drive and we had dinner together again. This time I took them back home with me.

Sat AM we got a ton of snow but she called me up asking if I could help her mom shovel her driveway. I just said I would swing by with the boys if we had time after we were done with ours. We went by her mom's house but it was already done (her mom paid a neighbor's kid). I was a little annoyed as I had texted her that we were heading to her mom's but never heard back. A few minutes later, she appologized saying she was in the middle of another crisis. Whatever....

On Weds this week, when were suppose to get another wave of snow, she asked if I would trade days with her. I told her that if she was worried about driving in the snow, that I would be happy to keep the boys but didn't want to trade days. She wasn't happy about it but I wound up keeping the boys that nite.

She picked up the boys on Thurs nite. Schools were closed on Friday again so she dropped both boys off with me today. We spent a lot of time playing in the snow and sledding before she picked them up. She was about 15 minutes late picking them up and was annoyed when I told her that I would bring them out in a few minutes but I wasn't going to have my boys just sitting at the front door waiting for her when she was so late.

I'm getting the boys back tomorrow nite as I'm taking them to my mother's early Sun AM for Chinese New Year's. We're meeting for dinner on Sat so that I can get the boys.

So, to recap, the last 3 weeks, we've gotten 2 blizzards with almost 3' of snow combined, she got a concussion, we spent a B'day party together, and two dinners.

It's V-day this weekend so I'm glad I'm going to NYC to keep my mind off of it. I don't know what's she's doing, but I really don't want to know. It stills hurts me to my core, but I'm just taking this one day at a time right now as I'm looking forward.

I'm focusing on my boys, finding a job and spending time with friends and family. I've been chatting with a couple new female friends, but my heart's really not into it now as I'm more concerned about finding a job right now so we shall see.....

FIDO