So why are you dragging your feet on getting all of your belongings? Is your name on the house? Have you checked with L re: having access? I know in some places if both S are on the deed you cannot legally keep them out of the house. If you need to get the police involved then so be it. Your things should not be held hostage.

I know it's easy to get into the tit-for-tat mindframe (believe me, I REALLY do understand this) but it is a reaction and the best way is to respond without a reaction. If you don't give him what he's looking for then he has to look at himself. It's like a child throwing a tantrum. The more you try to reason, plead, punish, etc to get him to stop, the more he's likely to keep it up because he has your attention and you're dancing to his tune. If you ignore his antics then he'll stop because he knows he can't get a rise out of you.

If you love somebody, set them free.
http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g