So why are you dragging your feet on getting all of your belongings? Is your name on the house? Have you checked with L re: having access? I know in some places if both S are on the deed you cannot legally keep them out of the house. If you need to get the police involved then so be it. Your things should not be held hostage.
I know it's easy to get into the tit-for-tat mindframe (believe me, I REALLY do understand this) but it is a reaction and the best way is to respond without a reaction. If you don't give him what he's looking for then he has to look at himself. It's like a child throwing a tantrum. The more you try to reason, plead, punish, etc to get him to stop, the more he's likely to keep it up because he has your attention and you're dancing to his tune. If you ignore his antics then he'll stop because he knows he can't get a rise out of you.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Police's stand is that I have to arrange it with him first, then they can drive by, they won't interfere. Again legally he has no rights to lock me out, but from police's POV it's not safe for me to stay there, so they won't help me to get inside, and because I am not living there anymore, if I try to get inside they would arrest me for breaking in. Unfair, but that's life.
Basically, I have to make it work with him and because I get so upset about it, I'm dragging my feet.
Thank you Pearl. I really appreciate your input and support. I feel bad I keep ranting and moping about the same thing, when I should just get it over with.
I have decided not to worry about it during Olympics. If he will contact me re his mail, I won't be difficult on purpose.
I feel like packing up his mail and sending it as a parcel, but it seems like too much effort for someone who's being a jerk and if it will go missing it will open another can of worms.
I know what you are saying. I guess one of the important things to remember is don't bring up past actions and no name calling. Do you have a lawyer? If so, then discuss options with them. If not, and if you don't want to hire one maybe you can consult Legal Aid. I am sure that his actions are illegal, and there can be legal remedies. If someone in authority gets involved he will have to give you access to your belongins.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
He's not saying I cannot have my things, but he's making it difficult, so I'm dragging my feet.
I would have to bring people over (because him and his friends will be there) and I will be very rushed, and there are things like documents and such that I need time to look around, I wouldn't know what else I'm missing and where to look until I get inside. I only get one shot at it, I want to make it right.
Involving authority would yield the same result as above. I have to tough it out.
I wake up with a pain in my chest. I don't know where people with children get their strength. You promise to love and cherish each other for the rest of your life, only to be treated worse than a stranger.
I have filed a change of address with the post office, so some of his mail gets through to me. I think he has asked them to sort it more careful since.
